We had the Easter tree outside church to welcome people in.

In church we had a time of celebration and for some reason the kids were popping balloons.

After church we headed off to Culver cliff to do some egg rolling – this was the best place we have been for egg rolling so will go back next year.

I’ve just finished reading Rob Bell’s new(ish) book Love Wins.
I found it an interesting and thought provoking read, but I believe for many it will be discarded (or possibly burned) because of issues with cognitive dissonance.

OK, if you’re still with me, haven’t set fire to your computer at the very mention of Rob Bell or fallen asleep through my use of strange and academic sounding words, congratulations.  I shall now attempt to enlighten you in order that your life may be complete.  Or something else.

Cognitive Dissonance is the feeling of discomfort experienced when two conflicting thoughts are held simultaneously.

For example if I perceive myself as a good person, but do something that is bad, I have to hold in my mind simultaneously a perception of being good alongside one of being bad.  This leads to discomfort – guilt, shame, embarrassment and so on.

Cognitive dissonance is often used as a tool for persuading people of a particular point of view.  Some of my work is in the field of Environmental Interpretation, which involves helping people understand environmental issues but also encouraging a change in behaviour and/or attitudes.  Effective interpretation often aims for a balanced approach to cognitive dissonance, giving a slight feeling of discomfort caused by taking on new ideas which challenge existing views and behaviours.  An interesting thing happens if the difference between pre-existing beliefs and new concepts is too great.  Rather than adjusting their beliefs many people will find rationalisations for dismissing the new information as false, irrelevant or misunderstood, or will simply re-interpret the new information to fit their existing beliefs.  No matter how convincing the proof, the easiest resolution to such massive cognitive dissonance is often to rationalise the retention of our existing position.

This all leads me to wonder whether a lot of the negative reaction to Rob Bell’s book is a result of too much cognitive dissonance.  People with deeply-held beliefs are confronted with an alternative view, not from someone they would expect to espouse such ideas, not a lefty-liberal-believe-anything-you-like sort or a hippy yoghurt-knitter, but the Nooma-ministering mega-church leader. The cognitive dissonance meter explodes.  The instant reaction?  Justify your position, marginalise the “opposing” view, rebalance the dissonance by removing the aberrant thought.  Peace can reign again in the brain once Rob Bell has been demonised, turned into some heretic who has stepped off the reservation.  His ideas do not get weighed, tested, mulled-over.  The reader’s views are not questioned and tested either.  An opportunity is lost.  An opportunity to improve understanding, deepen faith, explore belief.

I’m not suggesting for a moment that everyone should agree with Rob Bell.  He has, after all, just put forward his thoughts at this moment in time on a number of issues.  Disagree with some of it, or even all of it.  But don’t let the vagaries of the brain shut you off from considering new ideas.  Strong faith can take challenges.  That doesn’t mean our framework of understanding simply fends off all comers, but rather if faith is true and real it can accommodate challenge, exploration and new ideas.  The other is just dogma.

Then there is the phone call!

The one from the kids which says “We’re all wet, we’re coming home at 10.30″  as I wasn’t on the phone to them I could say the words in my head not just think them it went something like “what do you mean they’re coming home early, we’re supposed to be having a relaxed day together – grrrrr grrrrr grrrrr”.  So in no time I have gone from completely chilled and relaxed and wondering where we should walk and lunch to feeling disappointed agitated and wondering how I can manage my disappointed feeling and not let it ruin the whole day (this was not really successful have felt edgy and grumpy most of the day).

Anyway we decide we should get up and at least enjoy breakfast in peace and by ourselves.

They seem to be taking longer than we expected to come home so we at least got some of our conversing done.

When the girls come home they’ve gained two Dawsons (we have Jonathan coming back later with other Dawsons)  This makes no difference to us as by the time we’ve got our own girls back a few other kids (who seem very at home here – in fact Caleb often walks in and great martin with “Hello Daddy”) msake no difference really.

We then deal with muddy clothes and children and Ruth starts with her usual baking.

More Dawsons arrive with Jonathan and to my relief his car seat!

Tea and good conversations follow and then Dawsons all leave.

Rebekah can’t decide whether to cycle to the swimming pool or not.  Rain decides her so we all decide to do a bit of house/van work and the Ali is going to come over.

I’ve volunteered to do an extra Sunday Funday at church tomorrow so I’ve been making play dough and Jonathan is choosing a Veggie Tales DVD

I made some lovely poffertjes – just as they are ready Thorne handily turns up.

You eat them traditionally with icing sugar and butter but I rather like chocolate spread and Baileys!

Kids play demons, I escape to blog and try and feel happy by listening to strange Radio 4 plays and Martin continues on the van.

At some point I will need to kick out extra kids and eat dinner but for now I am enjoying living with radio 4 and ignoring everyone else!

So aside from my sniping at everyone the day has been OK, even pretty good in places  - but  not what we had planned.  I’m not good at appreciating what has come about if it’s different to what I had been expected but after the poffertjes I definitely started to feel better!

Now Sunday’s are supposed to be idle days for us but this one had unavoidable things in it.

Rebekah had to go to church early as she was leading the music for the first time.  Now we could have let her go on the bus but we felt that we should take her really, but this meant we couldn’t have a relaxed start to Sunday (which we aim to on the weeks we are not on a rota for something at church).  So we looked for a way we could take Rebekah to church and still be idle.  We decided to go out for breakfast.  A trip to Wetherspoons in Newport fitted in perfectly.  I even bought a Sunday paper to read over breakfast!

Then we nipped over the road to church feeling relaxed and not too full to enjoy the lovely cakes that were on offer at the start of the service this week.

Rebekah did well and I was particularly impressed to see that despite the fact that Ali has only been home educated for a little while she has one of the main items of the HE uniform sorted – odd socks – very disappointingly Rebekah was failing in this area of HE life and was wearing a matching pair!

I had been very organised and had shoved a curry in the slow cooker before going out so we came back home with only the rice needing to be cooked.  I use the Delia method and so once it was going I just needed to let it simmer without interfering for about 30 mins.  So I persuaded Martin to  play a few songs on his guitar – unfortunately on the first song he snapped his G -string – this lead to the inevitable silly comments (well we are big fans of I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue) and the inevitable shaking of head and sighing from Rebekah who thought that we were perhaps being a tad childish!

Then (again against our Sunday principles) Rebekah had to dash off to Cowes Baptist Church to get set up for the evening service that the Eternal Flame were playing at (she left at 3 and it didn’t start until 6.30 – we thought this was a bit excessive – but apparently it gave them time to eat pizza).

While she did this Ruth and Jonathan did the dishes, Martin went and did some gardening and I sat and had a relaxed cuppa with the paper.

Then Jonathan and I joined Martin in the garden – me to help and Jonathan to do some diablo practice.

The Rhubarb is springing up nicely.

I was very excited that we were going to use our own compost for the first time ever – it seemed like I shovelled it into about 100 planters but I think it was only about 10!

The compost seems a bit heavy on the eggs shells but aside from that pretty good – we found that hair doesn’t compost – there were a few wads of that and also found a spoon – that apparently didn’t compost either!

Then I went off to the Baptist Church with Ruth and Jonathan and Martin stayed home improving his Mario Cart racing!

Not a typical Sunday at all but still one where we made space to be idle and to enjoy life!

We were greeted by a glass of Bucks Fizz and a lovely meal.  During the meal we were given a check list of things to talk about and rate how we were doing from 1-5 in areas of our lives such as: children, finances, romance, hopes and dreams, friends, time alone etc.  We were encouraged to think about anything we would like to do about these areas.

We had a couple of short talks one from a couple who had been together for 25 years, talking about some early memories and what keeps them going through the ups and downs and what they appreciate about each other which is always lovely to hear.

The other talk was just a little idea, I liked the idea and have taken it on board.

The idea was to send texts to your loved one with “I love you because….”.  Since then I have been sending martin annoying little texts with “I love you because you made me a nice cup of tea” etc. etc.

The reason I like this is because it makes me regularly think really positively about Martin and remind me how much I love him and what a lot I have to be grateful for.   This tends to translate to me being nice to him rather than moaning at him which is good for the harmony levels in the house!

We finished off with pudding and coffee and a chance to chat with some other people as well as our lovely partners

we also had a chance to listen to What I Call Romance by Paul Bell which is one of my all time favourite songs.  A couple of the lines in it make me want to cry every time I hear them!

The girls get up early and open stockings we eventually wake Jonathan up and any remaining stockings are opened in our bedroom and all gifts are displayed for everyone to see.  highlights this year were Rebekah spilling her tea over my lovely and expensive (certainly by our standards) Laura Ashley duvet cover which needed immediate dealing with to stop it staining (it didn’t stain ) and Martin receiving some luxury loo roll (as one of his Grumping subjects this year  has been my choice of Lidl loo roll) – there was the usual assortment of chocolate, hairbands, magazines, pants and socks etc.

Then we have a yummy but easy breakfast, in this case a selection of croissants, pain au chcolat and muffins.

Then off to church – reasonably early as we are doing the music – the whole family doing O Come All Ye Faithful, Ruth on keyboard, Jonathan on leading child for the chorus, Martin on guitar, Rebekah on recorder and I just sing.

Then home for dinner.  Dinner lasts all day in our house we just spread the courses out through the day.  So we have a starter when we get home – easy and quick – veggie sticks and dips with bread-sticks and Pringles.

Ruth struggling with the bottle - Jonathan can't wait for the rest of us.

Martin has managed to get in to Lidl 99p Perry

Martin has to rescue Ruth

Rebekah attempts to drink her Bucks Fizz

Ruth shows us how it's done with more dignity

After the starter we open our presents (pics on martin’s camera so they’ll probably never make it onto the blog).  Things have moved on this year as no-one has any toys any more.  Jonathan got a 3/4 sized Guitar; Ruth got mirrors for her room, book tokens, waterproof gloves and most wonderfully of all some edible glitter; Rebekah got a packet of buttons (but she had already had a contribution towards her new guitar) and Martin and I got a DVD that we had agreed between us (and two more to come but Amazon has disappointed us!).

Then we all decided we were still not hungry so we played a game of Wizard then I shoved the dinner in while we played another game of Wizard – it was the first timer we had played it since Ruth and I received it as a birthday present and we all really enjoyed it.

Then dinner.  Not for us the traditional turkey – some time ago we decided it would be less stressful to have a different meal and we all said we loved lasagne so that is what we decided to have.

After dinner opening of other presents, we loved the biodegradable plant pots and seeds and the very pretty tiny espresso cups which we thought would work wonderfully with mulled wine.

Then we were waiting and waiting for Doctor Who to come on the iplayer.  Watching it as soon as it was on (well as soon as I had finished with the Archers on the iplayer!) and eating Ben and Jerry’s ice cream – and this was the only negative moment in the day I had mistakenly bough the wrong ice cream – there was no cookie dough only phish food and chocolate brownie – but we survived this by eating it while we were watching Doctor Who which was excellent as usual!

And that was pretty much it

Last week we had Calling All Nations week – in honour of the start of the World cup and the fact that people from far flung nations will be hitting the island next week (nations such as Hampshire and London etc.).  We had video footage from last years festival – we have the church open for free teas and coffees and use of the loos – and a quiz about it.  I would like to point out, in all humility and with love to the other groups, that we WON!  On a tie breaker it must be said but WE WON!  Not that it’s competative or anything – but Tony you better make sure we have our prize this week!!!!!!

Jonathan and Ollie are less than impressed with the option of watching the video and would rather watch ollie’s phone games.  They are appreciating the lollipops though.

We needed to make flags for our display, Ollie and Jonathan weren’t interested but Micah was!

Sometimes the adults need to do some colouring or have a lolly to keep them quiet too.

It was Martin’s birthday so he got to wear the special birthday hat – John is definitely trying to distance himself from this folly!

As well as drawing the flags we had a Philippino worship song, bible readings in Polish and Afrikaans and best of all Cecille’s extremely yummy noodles!

My Easter Saturday was like the later I was living knowing that Sunday was coming.  We cleaned the (relatively) tidy house and I really thought it was a good time to clean things up and get things in order so we could have a fresh start on Easter Sunday – and you can hear me say this here – I do like our church

Everyone insisted we ate boiled eggs for breakfast using our felted egg cosies.

The egg cosies are a little on the small side but will at least keep the tops of the eggs warm!

My felted tea cosy doubles up nicely as a festival ready hat!!!!

So we spent all morning (and a big chunk of the afternoon) cleaning.  Rebekah made more hot crossed buns (these were adapted as Friday’s were a little burnt).

We also had a few banana and pear fritters that Ruth made with some left over batter.

We then moved on to more egg making – we finished off the eggs we’d made yesterday and had a go at the (very easy looking) wool eggs.  But they were much much more difficult than we expected and we decided to leave them for next year.  We did listen to Charlie and the Chocolate factory on Big Toe Books.

We finished the day with a lovely cobbler that Rebekah had made for us all for dinner.  I love that the girls are so independent cooking now – I know that they could both cook a decent meal and do some fantastic baking once they are out in the real world – just Jonathan  to work on now who is very keen just not quite as independent yet (he made cornflake cakes and we have just eaten them for breakfast ).

In the midst of this we had this lovely Saturday evening at our friends’ beach hut and then slept over in another beach hut.  So we woke up on Sunday morning to fantastic view over fields and the sea.

Being us we didn’t have the whole morning to ourselves, Martin was going off to work at the Wolverton Manor Show and we were going to join him later.  But we didn’t have to rush to get up and the kids all stayed asleep and we experienced a moment of peace and tranquillity that had a profound effect on me.  Why didn’t I have more mornings when I felt like this, why were we always rushing about on a Sunday instead of relaxing and feeling peaceful and having enough time to enjoy each other company?

The peace and tranquillity is obviously enhanced by cups of tea

So having established that this was my best Sunday morning for months (even if after these pics Martin went off to WMS and I was left cleaning the tent that a load of smelly teenagers had been sleeping in for a week) did we do anything to change our lives?  No of course we didn’t we carried on regardless.

Stress carried on building up.

Then shortly afterwards I read an article in the New Wine magazine (I don’t usually read it as I find it too charisimaticly evangelical for my tastes these days, but it was free so hey!) while sitting on the loo (all the best reading goes on there.  I usually even read Martin’s Third Sector magazine which is seriously boring – although this month pictured an almost nude picture of Mark Forster who used to swim at Copthall where I used to teach swimming – and the BBC focus Magazine is the overall preferred magazine by most people in the house).

I picked out an article by Michele Guinness who is really interesting.  She was writing about the sabbatical that she was having in France with her husband and how they were going to do up a house in France.  The content of the article was mostly focused on the fact that they had decided to not work on the house on Sundays but to have a day of rest instead. She wasn’t happy with this decision at first as she felt it was just shirking on the DIY but says that as Sundays were spent cycling through countryside and having leisurely meals she came round to the idea very quickly.

Now I know it’s not rocket science but it suddenly struck me that this was just what we needed.  One day a week to be a day for resting, for playing , for fun and not for work.  A day to be different than the rest.  You’d think as a Christian with the heritage of  a Sabbath day I could have twigged a bit earlier.  So I pointed Martin in the direction of the magazine article and he agreed.

So how were we going to keep Sunday’s different?

Well they needed to be fun – when the girls were younger we wanted to make Sunday’s the best day in the week and we used to have gisbit day (biscuit day -but Rebekah couldn’t say it), when we could have tea and biscuits for breakfast before church – now we go to a fabulous church that has tea (and rather nice filter coffee) and biscuits (or cakes, sausage rolls, bacon rolls etc – depending on who is doing the teas) before church  so we don’t need to do that any more.

Also we had memories of friends who hadn’t been allowed to play with anything other than a Noah’s Ark toy on a Sunday which all sounded a bit grim.

So we decided to ban the computer (with an exception for the iPlayer if we are watching together and music) mostly to stop me and Martin from disappearing into facebook land and to make it time when we could all do what we wanted but with a focus generally on being together.  No DIY or general housework (cooking and dished excepting).  No Work!  But always remembering that “the Sabbath was made for man not man for the Sabbath”.  So these are not rules but guidelines to help us to have a proper day of rest

So what have we done since deciding this?

We’ve gone on a fungal foray with friends, where we surprised ourselves by actually finding something other than little brown jobbies.

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We’ve gone on walks, long and short and all together and in smaller groups.

We have watched videos and played games.

We’ve napped in bed and on the slouch (mostly that’s just me).

But mostly we just have a proper day off, we don’t go shopping and we don’t work and we do spend time doing what we feel like doing and doing things together.  Last week we all gardened except Rebekah who made scones instead – everyone was happy.  Then she went off to a recorder concert while I napped and read chick-lit on the sofa and martin and Jonathan played carcassone.   Oh and we usually watch Top Gear when it’s on too!

I can’t begin to describe what a difference this simple change has made in our lives, I look forward to Sundays hugely now – sometimes things don’t work out perfectly, when we are on some sort of duty at church we don’t have quite such a relaxed start  (I can be known to be yelling at everyone to find every pair of scissors in the house and the packet of  split-pins which surely must be in the blue box in the cupboard as I haven’t fully prepared for Sunday funday), but not starting church until 11am means we don’t have to rush too much – but overall everyone looks forward to Sundays and it seems to  give everyone permission to just chill out and have a day off.

We think Sundays are super

]]> http://wightweirdos.co.uk/ww/2010/03/our-super-sundays/feed/ 2 http://wightweirdos.co.uk/ww/2010/02/lenten-pretzels/ http://wightweirdos.co.uk/ww/2010/02/lenten-pretzels/#comments Thu, 25 Feb 2010 08:12:46 +0000 Susan http://wightweirdos.co.uk/ww/?p=696 We have learnt that pretzels are traditionally made during Lent. Apparently some monks used to pray by putting their hands on their shoulders, left hand to right shoulder and vice versa.  They made pretzels to remind them of the shape the arms made and hence to be a reminder to pray more during Lent.

You make the pretzels by mixing warm water yeast and sugar.

Then you mix in the flour.

Then you kneed the dough.

Next you make the dough into long snake shapes and shape it into pretzels

Brush the tops with egg and sprinkle on a little salt.

Then bake them.

Then scoff them quickly before the others come home.